I admit it — that’s odd to think about. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. And, I can hear you, like the voice in my own head, saying no, no I’m not. I am not supposed to be here. I am supposed to be in a better place, a different place. I can feel your heart beating faster, wanting to argue, to tell me how I’m wrong, to tell the situation and the world how it should be different. I can also sense your discouragement, like quicksand slowly pulling you down and deeper… maybe you’re not made for something different or better. Maybe you being “here” means that you’re not better, different, “more” than you are right now.
Yet, this is your reality – right where you are.
Me? I’m sitting alone reflecting on massive changes in my life: relationships, work, finances. Not all “good” but all, in some way, necessary, some intentional and some unintentional. I’m putting into practice one of my new strengths … sharing with you what’s on my heart. See, I used to do that a long time ago, but it got lost. I closed myself off for all sorts of reasons which felt necessary at the time. Shame? Pride? Fear? Safety? Through these painful but necessary changes, emotional callouses are being cut away. It was supposed to be.
I talked with a friend the other day about life. A number of years ago he was in a totally different spot – questioning his future, his business, what would become of his legacy. In a few short months, I was able to help him out. He told me where he was, showed me what was going on with his business, how that was impacting him personally, and I could clearly see his future.
This friend had come looking for me and asked how I was. Remarkable! I have had close friends of years who didn’t come looking or ask how I was. And yet, this person who sat on the outskirts of my life showed up. I told him how I was, what I was struggling with. With an open heart, I let him into my situation, my life, and he shared from his experience. I did that because years ago he had done the same with me. He told me he’d be there for whatever I needed. I told him that I needed his help and apart from a few obvious things, I didn’t know exactly how.
His life, his situation five years ago was exactly what he needed. He had opened up and I was able to use what I had to help him make massive changes. The trajectory of his business and life was moved and I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I learned a lot about myself in that time. He learned a lot about his life and business and is different now.
In my life, my situation today is exactly where I am supposed to be. The changes, emotional insights, understanding, compassion, and so much more that I am aware of now would not have been possible in any other way. My friend coming to look for me, and me being able to reciprocate the openness and trust that he once demonstrated for me, was exactly what I needed. We were exactly where we were supposed to be.
Don’t hear me wrong. Being exactly where you’re supposed to be is not a fatalistic viewpoint. No! It’s a recognition of reality and that life is a journey. As I recently heard — if your story ended here, I wouldn’t want to read it, either. But, it doesn’t! This is just a page in your book. And, it’s exactly the page that is supposed to be there.
So, what will you do with it? What will I?
Are you in despair?
Are you feeling like you are not meant for more?
I can tell you with all certainty… your present reality consists of what was, what is, and what will be. Altogether, and all now.
What was is what made you. It is the collection of what you have done, who you have been, and whom you have become. Like a long hike – it is all the places you have been and how you have found yourself here. It is not who you are. And, there’s no judgment either – it’s done and isn’t coming back.
What is is what is. It is now – this moment. It is what you make of it. Do you think like an artist? It’s your palette and canvas to make something. Do you have a writer’s mind? It’s your pen and paper. What is also has the opportunity to become something. This stroke is part of the bigger picture, this sentence part of the bigger story. What you create at this moment is up to you. What do you want to create? Whom do you want to be… right now?
What will be is what we are making. What vision are you holding in your head as you draw today? What story do you have in your heart as you write the words in this moment? What will be is the inevitable outcome of what we do with what is.
Confused? Read it again. And, then, again.
I’m an expert at feeling stuck. It’s like a damn superpower or something. I don’t like it. But, it’s really one of my actual superpowers run amock. I get lost in what was, what is, what will be, and as I think about it all the more, it just gets mangled around. I become my own enemy, holding myself back from moving through today’s reality wishing it were different instead of making it different.
It reminds me of a bad accident I had years ago when I crashed my car into a bridge, jumping into the air, totaling the car, and hurting my friend in the passenger seat. I remember getting out of the car, repeating in my head “no, no, no” and desperately wanting to take back the last few moments. How could I get them to replay? I eventually snapped back into reality – and dealt with the situation at hand all the while wishing it hadn’t happened. But, it did. And no amount of energy applied to the situation that had happened would have changed it!
I get stuck there. What about you? Do you expend energy trying to change what has happened? Do you not accept that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, but you have the opportunity to use all that you know to move forward with what is into what will be?
What do you dwell on? What was? What is now? What will be?
I encourage you – only because I need to encourage myself: evaluate what was, and then let it go. Set your sight on what will be, and then take action on what is. And, if you want to dwell on something, don’t dwell on the past, or on the future. Instead, decide your destination, and then take the step in the “now.”
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. Your story doesn’t end here, and you can take steps to write the next chapter right now. You can decide what the picture will look like, what you will do with the unintentional smudges, and how you will make something beautiful.
If you need help, let me know. I consult with entrepreneurs, business owners, and other interesting people to create meaningful futures. I can do that because I’ve been there, am there, and am going there.